Healthy relationships are awesome and something that I desire for everyone because though it doesn’t complete you, it really nourishes and truly fulfills you. It may even help you mature and grow as a person.
Unfortunately, there are many misconceptions about them that are being portrayed in our society especially in the media and if they won’t debunk them, I will because you deserve to know the raw truth.
Here are some things you need to know about healthy relationships, from my experience in currently being involved in a healthy relationship.
#1. Be wise about the person you choose to be with.
Looking back on the relationships I had with my exes, I realize that I could have avoided being in an unhealthy relationship by being wise in my initial decision to be with them, because I ignored the red flags I saw, believing that feelings were enough.
Interdependent relationships consist of two emotionally healthy independent people who have a sense of self but also know how to rely on someone else.
If you choose to be with someone who has an addiction, it’s going to be a long road. Or if you choose to be with someone who depends on you to make them happy, that may become a huge burden.
Make a list of red, yellow and green flags when you’re looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, so that it’s easier to organize, distinguish and help you make the wise choice.
#2. It takes effort, time and commitment.
Healthy relationships are not going to be given to you on a silver platter. You need to invest time, put in the effort and commit to it.
You could be with the healthiest person in the world and be in an unhealthy relationship because of your lack of involvement.
My boyfriend is an emotionally healthy person with no red flags, but we still had to put in the effort. We had to learn how to be honest with each other and how to resolve conflict.
Once you’re with a person who is emotionally healthy and who meets your core requirements, both of you have to be willing to be loyal and work as a team.
#3. Both of you need to be open to individual growth.
No one is perfect and your S.O. may and should call you out when you’re being too analytical or when you’re overreacting too much.
That way, you can work on improving in that area. But you can’t do that without being open to bettering yourself and being open to
My boyfriend and I work and get along well together because we’re both open to listening to each other and even accepting it if it really is something that either of us need to work on improving.
#4. There isn’t an absence of conflict.
The presence of occasional conflict is healthy because it shows that both of you care enough about the relationship to speak up when things aren’t going right or when either of you feel hurt. It matters how the two of you handle and get through conflict.
My boyfriend and I rarely fight, but when we did, we were able to get through them by communicating. We grew up with different ways of handling conflict so it was good to find a way to resolve it in a healthy manner.
But if you find that you’re fighting with your S.O. on a daily basis or you don’t remember the last time the two of you got along, it’s time to sit down and find a solution to end the unhealthy cycle.
#5. Forgiveness plays a vital role.
Speaking of resolving conflicts, forgiveness is a very important part of healthy relationships, because it requires a lot of humility and love to let go of a wrongdoing if it’s been done to you.
If you want to be in a healthy relationship, both you and your S.O. need to know how to forgive and practice it when necessary. Without it, there is no love and trust and without those, there is no relationship.
It’s hard for me to let go of conflicts but I’ve had to remind myself that it’s been resolved and there’s no legitimate reason for me to be holding on or keeping a grudge since he’s let it go as well.
#6. Having a support system only makes it better.
Being in a long-distance relationship, I have experienced the effect and power that support from family and friends can have on it, because it’s tough and I need that.
Though they may not be completely objective, they can definitely be that way a lot more than I can since they’re not dating my boyfriend.
Maybe you’re afraid to tell your parents about the relationship because there are racial differences, like it was for me, or they don’t think you’re mature enough to be in one.
It’s okay to delay it until the relationship gets more serious but it can’t be kept a secret for forever, because eventually, it will put a wedge between the two of you.